FCKuCANCER.

so y’all, round two, as a whole, went way better than round one. thank god.

this time, my villagers were momma and gt. if you have ever met gt, then you know it was anything but a regular day. this fool brought his daughter’s toy noise machine/microphone to chemo and was singing to the nurses!!

the infusion center only allows two people in the room at a time, but bridget came by after lunch and hung out as well. thankfully, the day wasn’t as long as the last time — we were done by 1:30.

now don’t get me wrong, i still did, and am, experiencing side effects, but i wasn’t as beatdown as i was the first go-round. we knew the the first round included “loading doses” which just means more meds, and we also knew that i had a billion appointments before and after so i couldn’t really judge how much of my exhaustion was chemo, or just the culmination of everything.

listen — i am still tired af. and i get worn out easily but here’s my list of side effects this time around since we’ve been keeping track:

• tingly fingers and toes
• hands peeling
• hair loss
• lingering hiccups, but not rapid — every once in a while
• mild itchiness — back & breasts
• serious fatigue/weakness
• constipation — i know i’m not drinking enough liquids (water tastes funny, but i’m doing better)
• diarrhea
• heightened sensitivity to some smells

i’m finding it really difficult to get caught up at work. it’s taking me longer to process/complete tasks and i dunno it’s like wearing me out. pray for me y’all. i need to get on the ball as much as i can. daddy hasn’t hit the big one yet, not for lack of trying, so i NEED to keep my job!!

given the way i am feeling after this round, i’m thinking japan is a go. so i am allowing myself to get excited about it. i booked all the excursions and whatnot hoping i’ll have the stamina to get around. gonna have to start getting on my walking pad daily and work on that.

now i feel the need to warn you — that picture above is no longer what i look like. we buried a good friend of mine from college this past weekend and it was really important to me that i didn’t show up to the funeral rocking a cancer baldy. i’m sure there’s a lot to unpack there, but basically i knew there would be a lot of people that i hadn’t seen in ages. although i have been very vocal about my cancer journeys, i also know only the people i talk to semi-regularly know and i didn’t want, if even for a second, for the conversation to be about me. anywho, i was too damned tired to stay and catch up with people anyway so all that worry was for naught. i probably spoke to three people and i was masked up so the faces i recognized, didn’t recognize me!!

i say all that to say — i am officially a baldy again. the day after the funeral i took a nap and woke up with all my hair on one side of my head stuck to my arm.

gt and bridget came over yesterday with the clippers and made it official.

fin.