FCKuCANCER.

so this is basically what last week felt like. i always joke that my body belongs to science now, but it ain’t all that far off. i had a medical related appointment of some kind damned near every week day.

here’s the list from my last post. updated.

1. echocardiagram
2. mda consult
3. mda mammo & ultrasound
4. lymph node biopsy
5. port placement surgery
6. pause oral chemotherapy / continue xgeva
7. six rounds of two chemo infusions & two immunotherapy infusions, every 3 weeks
8. surgeon consult(s)
9. mastectomy
10. resume oral chemotherapy
11. rounds of two immunotherapy infusions, every 3 weeks for a year

we are officially at number 7. fun times ahead, but lets talk about some of what has already happened.

i did meet with my mda oncologist to make sure we are all on the same page regarding my treatment. i know he and my hm onc have discussed my treatment plan but i wasn’t involved in that conversation. it also keeps me in the mda eco system, so two birds and whatnot.

he agreed with the plan as-is. which is the best-case scenario in my book and started setting up my surgeon consult with the same mda surgeon i spoke to a few years ago when i was considering having a prophylactic (read: elective) masectomy. back then, i ultimately made the decision to not go through with it and i’m trying my level best not to shoulda woulda coulda this, because hindsight is always twenty-twenty and whatnot.

i woke up thursday morning and had a full break down, y’all. so, yeah. that happened. then i had to put on my big girl panties and spend the day at mda doing what i thought was an utterly ridiculous money grab. they wanted to do their own mammo and ultrasound. despite me having just done one and giving them my discs. so that was fun. and let me tell you they were busy af. there was a scheduling mix-up so i ended up being there literally all damned day. but man oh man you really do see all the money they have at their disposal by just looking at the lockers and waiting rooms. i will also say, the ultrasound tech was lube happy and it was really pissing me off. the sheer amount of goop she applied was just uncalled for. i will also say, i prefer the hm ultrasound rooms because they have the fake windows on the ceilings that give you something pretty to look at in the midst of what can be a truly fucked up time.

my day at mda did give my mind something to focus on, so in keeping up with that theme, thursday night i agreed to see sinners (despite my hardstop at all things scary) with zubeda. chile once the vampires started vampiring i pulled out my headset and definitely blasted mariah carey from well underneath my blanket. y’all lied to me and said that movie wasn’t scary. sophia i am looking directly at you.

after the movie, zubeda helped me cut off my locs. so, yeah that sucked but i wasn’t as emotional as i anticipated. we knuckle up and do what we gotta i guess. zubeda is also really good at cutting her own hair so i was happy she was there to help me with mine. i had just gotten my sides shaped up at the barbershop the week before so that helped us both tremendously.

friday was the day for items four & five. lymph node biopsy and port placement surgery. daddy brought me to those appointments because i couldnt drive myself home after the port placement. it was supposed to be a full day at the hospital but we got to everything super early and thankfully they were all able to push me right through so i didnt have to take up the whole day as planned.

i will also say that there was a moment after the surgery where i was in the post op waiting room i guess giving time for the drugs to wear off and trusted a fart that i absolutely shouldn’t have. i ended up having to call the nurses for assistance.

that was fun. she had to wheel me to the restroom where i had to take a hospital hoe bath.

so yeah. i did it again. and in the hospital of all places.

fin.