FCKuCANCER.

so yesterday was my cancerversary, and if you’ve been paying attention you’ll know i’ve really been freaked out about it. this past year has been very tough for me. hell drafting this particular post hasn’t been a walk in the park either. there are so many things i want to say, but also i’m scared i might say too much. or go a bridge too far. too soon. mentally, i’m a whole mess.

thankfully, my day wasn’t bad. at all. not sure what i thought was gonna happen but newsflash: it didn’t. i did, however, have an oncologist appointment to go over my last PET scan and my xgeva shot.

i dressed up to mark the occasion and i’m really glad i did. not gonna bury the lede here, i had a really good appointment. my treatment plan is working. nothing is spreading. everything is going as planned. i still have cancer, but yeah no active cells so basically now i just have to stay the course and monitor my symptoms. the power of prayer. thank you. to all of you for every way you have shown up for me. there is no question, i could not’ve made it this far without you in my corner.

i took myself to dinner to celebrate.

i know i’ve said it before, but this whole thing has been a real mindfuck. and nights are the worst. like right now, i feel its important to share my great appointment with you guys, but also i’d very much like to turn off my brain. i obsess about things and now is when it’s the hardest to occupy my thoughts with other things. one of these days i hope to be at a point where i can better articulate this shit.

for now, my pill seems to be kicking in. thank goodness for tiny miracles.

goodnight everyone. and..have you given me your address? if you haven’t, it’s not too late. please click here and fill out my form.

thx.