FCKuCANCER.

frankly, i’m surprised it took this long tbh.

so let me set it up. yesterday was a day of appointments. once upon a time, about a few weeks ago, i had to go to the hospital weekly for blood tests to make sure this medicine isn’t having adverse affects in my body. it can do some crazy things so the doctor wanted to monitor to make sure my levels, level out so to speak. we have gotten through that and are now going once a month. the blood draw is timed to coincide with my monthly xgeva shot, so i was at hospital for both of those and i had an oncology appointment. i also had a nutritionist call scheduled, so i just took the day so i wouldn’t be rushing back to work and then have to stop again for another appointment.

the medicine i’m on i take twice a day, with food. i have to fast before getting my blood drawn so on those days, i take my pill later than usual. since i have to go to infusion to get my xgeva shot, they go ahead and flush my port and draw the blood from it. when they access my port, it doesn’t hurt. i can feel the needle go in and then that’s it. no biggie, and i get to see the infusion nurses which i have already pointed out are awesome.

next is my oncology appointment. the appointments are stacked, so there’s no time to eat and take my meds. my oncologist appointment was my monthly followup. we went over my side effects — diarrhea, lethargy, depression, lack of appetite, etc., how i’m feeling and all that jazz. i could go into detail…but really the big takeaways are 1) i can get my port removed. YAY. i mean, im going to take it as a YAY sitch but also i’m still annoyed that i had this surgery for one chemo infusion. i really need to go over my medical costs with y’all it’s amazing but a post for another day. 2) my next pet scan will be in december. this one we will be able to see how the meds are working on the cancer in my bone.

so boom. appointment over, now it’s time to eat. by the way, this is a judgement free zone…i stop at chicken filets because i’m out and about — and i haven’t met with the nutritionist yet, so imma act like i don’t know better… wait, back up — remember i wrecked my car when i was first diagnosed? well, the insurance company issued payment directly to the dealership, but they issued a two party check. i had covid by the time the dealership received the check so i never went to sign it. it’s now september, pretty sure i wrecked the car in june so i assumed they had signed my name by now or had gotten the check reissued without my name on it but nope. they still needed me to come in and sign. since the dealership is across the street from the hospital i stopped by, they brought the check to my car and i signed it. then i headed for chicken filets. by this time i already had my mouth ready for an arnold palmer and some hash browns. do y’all know i waited in that double drive thru just for the woman to literally flip the sign when i got to her. ugh.

side bar: i love that movie…click here to watch that scene.

so yeah, no breakfast for me. i did get the palmer tho. sat in the parking lot, ate my fries and took my pills, then it was time to go home. man, i had a full day planned. high expectations. i thought i was going to take advantage of technically being “off” and actually get caught up on work. on my way home i’m mapping out in my head the things i need to get done, and the order in which i’m going to attack them. i am ready to do this. my energy level is fine, i’m feeling good. today is gonna be a good day.

y’all. i get home. back the car into the garage — because it’s me. and i back-in everywhere. i got a ticket on long island for backing in — i didn’t even know that was a thing. get in the house, head back to the garage to let the dogs out and that’s when it happens.

i should end this now. but i’m going to keep going. i do feel the need to remind you again, that this a judgement free zone…while i’m walking to let the dogs out ummmm let’s just say…i THOUGHT i had to fart. and you know, no one’s around. so i figured, i’d let the fart fly, let one loose, if you will…

my happy-go-lucky gait, turned into a brisk walk. y’all i let them damned dogs out and kicked it into high gear. i ran back in the house…

by now you know where this is going. it happened. i shat myself.