FCKuCANCER.

howyalldoin?

so yeah, i’ve been in a funk lately. basically ever since that virtual doctor’s appointment. but i have decided to try and snap out of it. hell i can’t change how that appointment went. just gotta move on. so let’s do some updates, shall we?

in no particular order.

one. as of monday, july 13th @ approximately 4 pm — i am done with radiation treatments.

so yeah. radiation done, son. and can i tell y’all something? saturday, was the first day in i swear a year where i didn’t have back pain. and i know what you are thinking….it’s gotta be the bed. but nope…hated it.

the toyota was not it. we slept on it for maybe 3 nights. after that, it was bye-bye baby. the mattress is currently upstairs waiting on “them people” to pick her up. i have cancer. i am not waiting 180 days to break an uncomfortable mattress in before returning. no ma’am. no sir. come get it. i’ll pick out another one when i can go out in the elements.

i’ll tell you what tho…the bugatti base was worth every red cent.

so that’s four updates right there. your fifth is that i have an appointment for my second opinion. and it’s next friday. can i tell you i am dreading it? like i’m thrilled i have one, but i’m also sad. i really, really, really like my care team. and really every person i have come in contact with. but i just feel like i’m not going to be able to get over this last appointment with my oncologist. i have reached out for a follow up appointment with her. i have more questions regarding this new treatment plan, and frankly i want to tell her how that last appointment made me feel and try to get to some middle ground for going forward….only i really don’t feel like there is going to be a forward. this is definitely the why of my funk. do y’all think she reads my blog? i know it’s been passed around. if she has, i hope it gives her a window into how i feel. i dunno.

six. last friday, the day of my virtual appointment with my oncologist, yeah, that was my cancerversary. one month in. did not think it would go like that. but then again, nothing about this has gone according to “plan.” if it did, i wouldn’t have cancer at all, so…i guess it’s par for the course.

seven. i started taking one of the pills on the new treatment plan. i know i know. but what if the second opinion agrees, then i would’ve wasted two weeks not killing my cancer. so yeah i started taking it sunday. this one is once a day. it’s a tiny lil sucker but let me tell you — i don’t know if its the pill or the radiation/chemo but now i can feel everything as it goes down my throat. even this tiny pill. and it is uncomfortable. doesn’t hurt. just doesn’t feel good. i have to chew food up real tiny-like. and swallow small increments at a time. i can feel the food going down. it’s not pleasant. i see ensure in my future. i haven’t started the other one because i guess my insurance hasn’t approved it yet. stay tuned. treatment plan forty-five soon come. maybe.

eight. yeah right. it hasn’t been that long. i think that’s all the updates i got in me. though it would’ve been fun to end it with an eight is enough gif.