FCKuCANCER.

now let’s get this stated right out the gate. i am not the end-all-know-all on cancer, hell i’m not even all that informed about MY cancer. yet. this is new. and we just gonna have to learn this shit together. i mean, it’s not like i haven’t been given ample study materials, and these here internets are at my disposal.

just…like…what can i say…procrastinators gonna procrastinate. amirite.

my official diagnosis can be broken down as follows:

• invasive ductal carcinoma
• estrogen and progesterone receptor positive
• metastasis in lymph nodes
• enhancing metastatic lesion noted in the posterior inferior T9 vertebral body
• metastasis noted in the superior anterior T11 vertebral body
• scattered small metastatic lesions in the iliac bones and partially imaged sacral alar regions as well as the L2 and L4 vertebral bodies

also, if that wasn’t enough — apparently i have variant anatomy. i only have 11 thoracic vertebrae when i should have 12. who knew? guess i can stop fudging my height on forms…

technically, breast cancer, because of the origin. but basically, all of that metastasis means i’m at stage iv. stage iv only — and i realize only is not the right word back there — means that the cancer has spread to other parts of my body.

so yeah, fckUcancer.

i had big aspirations in my head when i started drafting this post…really expected the words to flow through me. figured once i rifled through all the various reports i would know what i really wanted/needed to say.

guess what. i’m still clueless. all i have managed to do is officially define my cancer.

that’s it. that’s the post. ain’t really shit else to say. tomorrow, we radiate.